Evening tout le monde. As another day becomes inscribed into tomes of the past, I have learnt that lists are an absolute waste of Biro ink and premium Amazonian tree pulp.
I appreciate they have a useful purpose for reminding you to pack a socket-adaptor in your hand luggage or to buy an extra bottle of wine ‘cos you’re meeting the gf’s parents or whatever, but in terms of daily tasks....stick to keeping it inside ya noggin.
Writing out a ‘to do’ list not only makes you aware of how little free time there is in a day, but when you inevitably fail to achieve these goals it makes you realise that although you’ve been constructive and working hard, you haven’t actually ‘achieved’ anything. In the words of a greater man than myself; ‘you end up filling your day with trivia’.
So, I puzzled myself. Are there any lists people actually stick to, or enjoy making? Having tried to list my Desert Island Discs (picking 8 songs out of 13,313 is hard) last night in an effort to get to (yet simultaneously avoiding) sleep, I will admit that making some lists are indeed fun.
Alas, since Facebook-affiliated media groups have already published all the obvious ones within annoying quizzes such as “which historical dictator are you most likely to babysit for?” , I thought I’d make up a little list just for you avid readers.
The 10 best bits of advice I’ve ever heard/made up:
1 Never apologise for your feelings, because they’re the only things you can truly call your own.
2 Invest in some good headphones - you won’t need to buy new muzak when you can just rediscover all your old favourites.
3 ‘More is lost by indecision, than by wrong decision’ - Carpe Diem, grab life by the balls and do something fantastic with it.
4 If you’re a man, be a gentleman; if you’re a woman, keep your class - You never know who might be watching or who your actions might impress.
5 When you get angry, remember Sun Tzu’s words - “He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot will be victorious.”
6 Social media sites should never replace real life - Facebook cannot replicate the hormones and endorphins which you experience when you actually meet up with people.
7 “Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.” - Jimmy Durante. Enough said really.
8 Live within your means - Basic maths and some self-discipline will save you some stress and the embarrassment of bailiffs knocking on your door.
9 Never buy a house on a flood plain - I’ve got to thank my dad for this chestnut. But seriously though; DFS sale furniture is worth even less if it’s covered in spring rain and faecal matter.
10 Don’t give up, work hard, enjoy life and for heaven’s sake wear a seatbelt.
That’s about it really. Apologies if it seems obvious or patronising. I just wanted to pass this wisdom onto someone as I don’t currently have children who can moan and humph and look bored whilst I rant.
Take care everyone.
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