Evening everyone. I love words. I mean, the etymology, the scientific fact that names with longer vowel sounds are more arousing, the puns, onomatopoeia. All of it. After a witty yet long day at the office (a two-day working week allowed for no routine or calm) I believed a bottle of beer (oh yeah, and alliteration) was in order.
The poison of choice was Theakston’s Old Peculiar. Well-rounded, dark, full-bodied and also proud sponsor of the Crime Writing Festival, Harrogate. Interesting I thought, niche I thought, turn the bottle round for more details I did. On the reverse label is quite possibly the most prime example of old meets new I have ever seen. Nothing combines artistic literary flair of old, as demonstrated by forefathers such as Dickens, Shakespeare and Kipling with the short, snappy, contemporary Twitter-age attention span of 100 characters quite like the 10 word novel. That’s right.
Ten words, in a sentence to form a novel. Boom.
(See what I did there?)
My sceptical nature was erased by the humour the example provided. The Day Lonnie Went Too Far by N J Cooper:
The coke hit. Lonnie Smiled. Then Came Pain. Lonnie Died.
I’m not gonna lie, I kinda liked it. After giving up on Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment after 90 pages of social awkwardness, I found it a welcome relief. I mean, what’s not to like?! Personal tragedy, raw emotion, empathy for the protagonist. Everything you need in a novel.
This prompted me to think further: If you can write a novel in ten words, then what’s to stop you describing a life in the same length of ‘prose’?
So here it goes, here's my life in ten words:
Eloquent ursine male, happy in love, life and drinking ale.
*Bonus points if you make it rhyme*
And yes, it’s harder than it looks. Much harder. That’s it for today I’m afraid. Sorry to cut to the chase. Please post your own 10 word sentence self-portraits on the Facebook page and I look forward to reading them.
Take care everyone.
Enjoy the bank holiday.
x
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